Dreaming of exporting yourself to the Bel Paese? Here are some thoughts and resources on doing just that.
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an update on the whole attempt to become expats; partly that was because the husband and I hadn’t really learned anything new, and partly that was because what we eventually learned didn’t make us terribly optimistic. But here’s the latest - as much as I’d like to be reporting something different, it looks like we’ll be staying in the US for at least the foreseeable future.
The husband has been working with an outplacement agency in Milan for a couple of months, but he’s only had a few …
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I’m taking a break from teaching right now, but one of the things I used to have to explain to my students was how the Italian language is a “living language” - it’s still changing, because it’s still being spoken. All languages which are still being spoken are “living languages,” but when you speak one as your native tongue the changes happen gradually enough that you don’t notice them. For instance, those of us who use computer regularly now consider “Google” a verb - as in, “Why don’t you Google that to find out?” - although we can probably all remember a time when that word didn’t even exist. Living languages are exciting and frustrating for the same reason - they’re dynamic.
An example of a new Italian word my Italian teacher taught our conversation group recently is “sherare” - it might not look like a word you know, but it’s pronounced “share-AH-ray.” Sound familiar now? Yes, there’s a word in Italian that means “to share,” but some Italians (obviously those with some knowledge of English) have co-opted the English word and just made it Italian. For those of you who speak Italian, it’s conjugated like any regular “-are” verb. Another note for anyone who hasn’t heard or used it, our Italian teacher’s sister, who still lives in Italy, was shocked and appalled that she’d use it instead of “condividere,” so be warned.
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I’ve never been very good at ironing. If we move to Italy, however, I think I’m going to have to learn. Italian women spend an inordinate amount of time ironing - and they iron things American women just wouldn’t dream of ironing anymore. Italians iron bedsheets, towels and even underwear. Why? Is it because they prepare every bed or bathroom as if it were hosting royalty? Is it because they just like a perfect crease in their undergarments? The answers are no, and most definitely not. The answer is simple - most Italians …
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Vacationers in Italy exist in something of a bubble, where they think they’re experiencing something of authentic Italian life without getting close. They may eat differently, spend their time differently, focus on different things - but ultimately, they’re on holiday and they’re not engaging in any of the routine daily tasks that they would if they lived there.
I think this is why it’s so easy to drift into that romantic state of, “Oh, wouldn’t it be glorious if we could move to Italy?” People forget that even in Italy there is still grocery shopping to be done and laundry to hang (because almost no one has a clothes dryer). And even though the husband and I have thought about living in Italy more than just making sigh-filled passing comments during a piazza stroll, we’ve been guilty of over-romanticizing it, too. Really, it’s quite difficult not to.
So in an effort to bring a dose of reality back to anyone who’s contemplating a move to Italy, here are a couple of articles about Italian food to get you thinking.
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Among the gajillion things that the husband and I have discussed - or at least started discussing, because the task is always far too overwhelming to continue for long at this point - about a potential move to Italy is the car situation. Actually, I’m the one who has thought about it, and I’ve already made up my mind about part of it. The part I’ve decided is that I have no intention of attempting to drive in Italy - at least not to begin with.
My reasons for this are many. First and foremost, Italian drivers scare the bejeezus out of me. I cannot imagine being behind the wheel and trying to navigate the streets of a big city like Rome or Milan. It stresses me out enough being in the passenger seat, or even outside the car altogether. In Oregon, where I live now, the local joke among people who didn’t grow up around here is that Oregonians don’t have a clue how to drive in snow (it’s true) - never having learned anything about which way to turn the steering wheel when they start to slide, they are the ones who end up in ditches when there’s only an inch or two on the ground. So they’re the ones who are a real hazard, not the out of towners who know how to handle their cars. In Italy it would be the exact opposite, seems to me - I’d be the hazard, both to myself and to those around me. Just thinking about it gives me heart palpitations.
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I got a note recently from an Italy Logue reader called Leah asking about my Italy-related reading list:
“My story is that I’m a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar, and (after having spent a few years in the real world of cubicles of conference rooms) I’ll be heading to the University of Bologna to study for a Master in International Relations. That starts in November - starting in September, I’ll be doing a month of language training somewhere in the South (perhaps in Calabria) and another month in Florence. …it sounds like you have a reading list going? I’d love to see it, if you don’t mind sharing! I just read Ross King’s ‘Michelangelo and the Pope’s Ceiling’ - it got me fired up, and I’d love to check out some other Italophile books, too.”
Thanks for your note, Leah! Many of the books I’d been reading involved living and working in Italy, rather than soaking up the culture, but it sounds like the practical books would be useful to you as well. So, for you and for any other readers who are interested, here’s the list of the books I’ve either read or had strongly recommended to me:
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One of the things I find most frustrating about learning another language is how stupid I sound sometimes. I can usually get my point across in a conversation, but I’m forced to do it using childlike language as opposed to sounding like an adult. I’m capable of expressing myself pretty well in English, I like to think, so when I speak Italian I often find myself essentially talking myself into a corner - wanting to say one thing and then finding myself unable to and having to talk around the obstacles in order to explain myself. Again, more often than not I’m able to get my meaning understood by whoever I’m talking to, but it’s frustrating all the same to be unable (as yet) to express myself using the same level of language in Italian that I use in English.
Imagine my dismay, then, when I read some recent items online - one telling me that the Italian language is even more ornate (especially the written language) than English, so I really have much further to go than even I thought; and two talking about how SMS (that’s text-messaging to anyone from the US) has invaded “normal” Italian writing, so I have yet another language to translate now. Egads.
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Not everyone who visits Italy is a foodie, but many of the people I talk to who are planning trips to Italy are hoping to eat well while there. They might not go as far as Naples to sample pizza or as far as Bologna to eat tortellini, but they’re still hoping to experience some of that world famous Italian cuisine.
Some of the people I’ve talked to have gone so far as to marvel aloud at how lucky people are to live, shop and eat in Italy. In fact, I’m one of those people. But it’s easy for those of us who only visit once in awhile (our wallets fat with holiday spending money) to wax poetic about the rustic outdoor markets we walk past and photograph, especially since we don’t have to worry about what things really cost.
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I’ve got a giant stack of books beside my bed (not to mention the bookcases which are overflowing in my living room), but it’s kind of a situation of having too many choices - whenever I finish a book, I agonize over what to read next. Perhaps that stems from the idea that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never read everything I want to read in my lifetime. More likely it’s just that I’m a bad decision maker.
At any rate, Shelley of At Home in Rome has given me yet …
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Whenever the husband and I complain about the current administration of the United States, friends who know about our dream to move to Italy are incredulous, saying, “But what about the Italian government? How can you complain about the US government when Italy’s is so much worse?” We usually shrug it off, but if they’re really adamant, we explain it thusly.
For the most part, the people of the United States believe what their government tells them. This is because, for the most part, the US government is worthy of such belief. (Calm down, I said for the most part.) We’ve got a tradition in the US of a government that’s accountable for its actions, partly because the press is watching them and partly because of the way our system of government works.
In Italy, on the other hand, it is almost a given that politicians are corrupt. Scandals involving politicians, past and present, are nothing surprising to Italians - it’s what they expect. This is a country which has had nearly 40 prime ministers since World War II, because every time one of them does something even remotely questionable there is a vote of no confidence and a new guy is elected.
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