How to Impress an Italian Guy

There's an old joke that goes something like this:
Q: How do you impress an Italian girl?
A: You wine her, dine her, compliment her, surprise her, laugh with her, shop with her, go to the end of the earth for her...
Q: How do you impress an Italian guy?
A: Show up naked. And bring beer.

Frankly, the joke works better for countries where beer is the national drink, and it works about equally well for men anywhere. There's more to it in Italy.

Being foreign can be what gets you noticed in the first place. Getting noticed isn't the same as impressing him, though, and a lot of what impresses Italian women works on Italian men too, with a few differences. Jessica wrote the first version of this guide in 2010 with help from Italians and long-time expats (credited at the bottom). It's written for a woman hoping to impress an Italian man, but most of it applies whoever you are.

Dress Well, Not Loud

Italian men notice clothes, their own and yours. You don't need to be in Dolce & Gabbana from head to toe. You do need to look like you made an effort. Fit matters more than labels, and something simple and well-cut beats something expensive and loud.

Keeping up with fashion while traveling is hard and a bit silly. If you want one new thing, look at the color or cut in every shop window that season. The weekly street markets that set up in almost every Italian town sell cheap clothes; pick something inexpensive that doesn't look it.

Dress for the place. Italian cities are more dressed-up than most American ones, and churches require covered shoulders and knees. See what to wear in Italy for the details.

Hold the Politics

This goes for both sexes. Older Italians grew up in a culture where men talked politics, business and religion and women were expected to keep out of it. Younger Italian men are used to women with opinions, and a lot of them like it, but a first date is still the wrong time to take on the government. Italian party politics is hard enough for Italians to follow.

Love the Food, Leave Mamma's Cooking Alone

A stereotype, and true: in a country that takes food this seriously, enthusiasm for it goes a long way. Plenty of Italian men cook, and many will happily tell you the right way to make a dish from their region. Let them. Ask questions. Eat what's put in front of you.

The caveat: if you become a fixture in his family, never expect your version of his mother's recipe to beat hers. As far as he's concerned, nobody cooks like Mamma. Don't take it personally.

Don't Say Anything Bad About Mom

In Italy, mothers are beyond criticism, as long as they aren't your own. He can complain that she's driving him mad. You can't join in. It's that simple.

Italian men do have a reputation as mammoni, mama's boys, and there's a reason. According to Eurostat, young Italians moved out of their parents' home at 30.2 on average in 2025, against 26.3 across the EU. Jobs and rents explain a lot of that. The results are the same either way: many men in their late twenties still have their laundry done at home, and you're unlikely to be invited back to his place for a while. Expect to meet his family sooner than you would at home, too.

Be Confident, and Let Him Be Courteous

One of the things Jessica loved about Italian women was their confidence, and Italian men are used to women who aren't shy. Italians are lively and often loud, so if you're quiet you'll fade into the background. Speak your mind, hold eye contact, and be sure of yourself.

At the same time, don't bristle if he holds a door or offers to pay for the first drink. Old-fashioned courtesy is still normal here, not a statement about who's in charge. If you'd rather split the bill, say so; alla romana, half each, is common among younger Italians.

Confidence cuts both ways. If he's pushier than you like, a plain, firm "no" is understood in Italian too.

Learn Some Italian

Italians know their language isn't as useful to learn as English or Spanish, so they're usually pleased when you try. Younger Italians often speak good English, but a few words of Italian still show respect.

Start with the basic courtesies. If you know something about him, learn a line about his home region or his football team; it will go a long way. Ask an Italian to help with pronunciation. Stumbling over a word or two will endear you to him more than not trying at all.

Expect a Group Date

Italians do go on dinner-for-two dates, but early meetings often happen in a small group. Italians socialize in a compagnia, a steady circle of friends, and a group takes the pressure off and lets everyone check out the friends as well as the date.

So don't be thrown if he suggests drinks and turns up with a couple of friends. Have a friend or two on call, or simply ask beforehand whether it's just the two of you.

Apps and Safety

In the big cities, dating apps are as normal as they are at home, and they're the fastest way to meet someone if you're only in town for a few days. Say up front that you're visiting, meet somewhere public, and let a friend know where you'll be. Italy is generally safe, but the usual rules apply. If anything goes wrong, call 112. The national violence and stalking helpline, 1522, is free, runs 24 hours a day, and has an English-language site and chat.

Be Yourself

After a long list like this, "be yourself" may sound odd. It's still the most important one. If you reinvent yourself to impress him, what happens when he likes the person you're pretending to be? Avoid the cultural gaffes, and let him like you for who you are.

Italian men tend to be upfront, and they'll expect the same of you. If he likes you, he'll call, without worrying whether calling the next day looks too keen. You won't have to decode hidden meanings. You'll get the honest truth, ready or not.

Thanks to the people who helped Jessica answer the question "what does it take to impress an Italian guy?" in 2010:

• Monica Cesarato
• Michelle, Michellanea
• Cherrye Moore, Il Cedro
• Only in Italy
• Andreas Trianda, Il Gumo
• Alex Roe, Italy Chronicles
• Sara Rosso, Ms. Adventures in Italy
• Joanne Natale, Frutto della Passione

all photos by Ed Yourdon; first, second, third, fourth, fifth